OCT 12, 2007

1. Will you help me test just how active I can be with my new Hollister?
2. Are you familiar with the powers of Stomahesive as an aphrodisiac?
3. I'm already wearing protection, so what are we waiting for?
4. Wow, is my bag getting full or am I just happy to see you?
5. Bet you've never met a guy who looks good in a two-piece before. . . .
6. Have you seen Gucci's fall line of colostomy cozies?
7. Papa's got a brand-new bag, and he's ready for love!
8. I bet you one date that my butt smells better than any other guy's here.
9. Hit a homer with a guy with stoma!
   
10. I'm such a sensitive modern man, I carry a bag around with me everywhere I go. Wanna see?
11. I would never be an asshole to you.  In fact, I have no asshole!
12. They took out my colon, but I've got inches to spare a little bit lower.
13. I lost my clip.  Will you hold me?
14. Yeah, so I used to be an alligator wrestler, but then that got kind of dull, so I started wrestling rhinos instead, and, well, one of them gored me once — you wanna see the scar? — but I managed to use my kung-fu skills to subdue it, and . . .
15. Not only do I know how to use a semicolon, I have a semicolon.