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THE MILKSHAKE
AND DOUGHNUT DIET
I recently gained 25 pounds in three months, and I couldn’t be
happier! My figure is fuller, and it’s done wonders for my energy
level! Clothes that I haven’t been able to wear for years now fit
again, and this year I was even able to go to a Halloween party as
something other than a skeleton! It’s all thanks to the
Revolutionary™ New Milkshake and Doughnut Diet, recommended by
international experts! Thanks, Revolutionary™ New Milkshake
and Doughnut Diet!! Now I have my life back!!
If you have Crohn’s Disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Colitis or
similar gastrointestinal disorders, be sure to ask your doctor about
the Revolutionary™ New Milkshake and Doughnut Diet. The
Revolutionary™ New Milkshake and Doughnut Diet is not for
everyone. Side effects may include indigestion, distention, gain
of appetite, concerned stares from complete strangers as you consume an
entire box of Krispy Kremes right there in the store, and, for good
measure, because all medical treatments seem to cause these things,
nausea and headaches. If you are pregnant or have heart problems,
or are a normal, healthy person, or are the type of person who
actually, you know, shouldn’t gain double-digit amounts of weight
within a single-digit number of months, the Revolutionary™ New
Milkshake and Doughnut Diet may, in fact, be detrimental to your
health.
The Revolutionary™ New Milkshake and Doughnut Diet should be used
only when other treatments used for weight gain have failed. Such
treatments may include the ingestion of doctor-recommended “liquid meal
replacements” such as Nutren, Peptomen, Ensure, Sports Shakes, Instant
Breakfast, Boost, LiquidLard, Chalk-ade, PowerFattener, GutGrower and
Magic Metabolism Malts (Now With Rancid, Bitter
AfterTaste!!). Many individuals find that the
Revolutionary™ New Milkshake and Doughnut Diet is easier to
follow than standard nutritionist-mandated diets. There are
several reasons for this. First, the Revolutionary™ New
Milkshake and Doughnut Diet simply tastes better than any of those
things the folks in the white coats tell you to eat. Second, it’s
so easy to follow: no need to read nutrition labels or shop at
specialty grocery stores or medical supply outlets – your local Main
Street or highway strip mall likely has a Revolutionary™ New
Milkshake and Doughnut Diet vendor! Just follow your nose to your
favorite purveyor of fried food and ask the friendly teenager at the
counter if he or she can help you – you’d be surprised how easy it is
to find a trained Milkshake and Doughnut Specialist! Most
doctor-ordered diets mandate a balance of nutrients, minerals,
vitamins, antioxidants, proteins, carbohydrates, carotenoids,
stalagmites, anaglyptas and other long words that may or may not mean
anything. But everyone knows the words “milkshake” and
“doughnut,” and everyone knows that the simplest answer to a problem is
often the right one . . . and this is an easy, simple solution for all
your weight-gaining needs. It's no wonder the
Revolutionary™ New Milkshake and Doughnut Diet is the
fastest-growing treatment around!
Just remember, the Revolutionary™ New Milkshake and Doughnut Diet
is just one part of the full medical treatment, which may also include
medications such as Prednisone and Remicade; increased physical
fitness, including trips to the gym or in-line skating, but not
running, because that’ll shake your gastrointestinal tract up, and you
do not want to be stuck on a
bike path in the middle of the city when all that shakin’ and jigglin’
really hits, if you know what I mean; as well as getting plenty of
sleep and cutting back on stress (yeah, good luck with
that). Oh, and cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers are also
an important part of the Revolutionary™ New Milkshake and
Doughnut Diet.
Ask your doctor for more details today!
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